5 Easy Ways to Avoid Gathering With the Church this Weekend

Five ways to not prepare yourself for this Sunday’s corporate gathering of believers.

  1. Wait until Sunday morning to decide if you will gather with other believers. If you’ll do this you will likely be able to avoid submitting yourself to instruction from the preached word. You’ll be able to convince yourself that you don’t really need this kind of instruction.
  2. Don’t read your bible this week. After all, why read your bible when the preacher is just going to read and preach from it if you do decide on Sunday morning to gather with other believers?
  3. Spend a good bit of your time this week with the ungodly and don’t say anything about why you don’t do some of the things they do. Surely you’ve heard a sermon before about being salt and light. You can’t be salt and light without being around wicked people. Remember that one time you heard someone say that “you are the only Jesus some will ever see”?
  4. Misplace your bible on purpose. This will make it easier for you to decide not to gather with other believers. You know, what kind of Christian goes to church without a bible?
  5. Stay up late on Saturday night so you can win the battle in your mind about how Sunday is the only day you get sleep in.

If you’ll follow these five easy steps you will most likely be able to convince yourself that you won’t be gathering with other believers this week.

Bonus: If the above 5 steps prove to be unsuccessful in keeping you away this Sunday, try these other time tested ways to not be prepared for this coming Lord’s Day. Be wicked and sinful. Hold a grudge against another believer. Let pride show you how spiritual you are without gathering with others.

What other successful steps are you aware of? Share them below…

1 Comment

  • Paul

    April 10, 2014 at 12:25 PM Reply

    I’ve thought of another:

    On the way, realize that you forgot your checkbook. Instead of going anyway or instead of turning around to go back and get the checkbook, take the family to the International House of Pancakes. They take debit/credit cards and after all, everyone is dressed up for eating too.

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